Rhino - Ryan Reist
Field Alter Ego: VICK
Field Alter Ego: VICK
This former Stephen F. Austin standout is widely considered to be one of the founding members of the SMFL. His attendance record was at one time unblemished…a show of loyalty and dedication second to none. However, in the mold of all prima donna wide outs, the Reistman took on off the field interests (read: girlfriend) that have turned his recent attendance into spotty, at best. But, remarkably, his skills are unaffected even by the periodic layoffs. His speed causes match-up problems for any defender, even if his hands and route running (insists on only running fly patterns) are mediocre. This multi-talented southpaw frequently draws comparisons to the much-maligned, notorious felon Michael Vick because when he runs the offense as QB, his favorite play is to wait for the pass rush and start scrambling, not unlike Ron Mexico.
“I always like to refer to him as Vick because they are both better suited to play a position other than QB because more often than not they are the best athletes on the field…and not because of Vick’s involvement in dog fighting, sneaking marijuana through an airport in a water bottle, or carelessly spreading herpes throughout the greater Atlanta metroplex” explains one league star.
PRESEASON PREDICTION: SOMETHING TO PROVE ALERT - As a result of his absences last year for personal reasons, the league is not convinced that he spent the off time working on his athletic skills. If, for example, he were the SMFL representative for "The Bachelor"... then we would have no concerns... but if he shows up on Saturday morning with roses, then we might just shun him from the league altogether. His passion and abilities have come under scrutiny and many players throughout the league are left wondering about what he has left in the tank. "Rhino" will have to play with a chip on his shoulder this year to earn the respect of the league.
“I always like to refer to him as Vick because they are both better suited to play a position other than QB because more often than not they are the best athletes on the field…and not because of Vick’s involvement in dog fighting, sneaking marijuana through an airport in a water bottle, or carelessly spreading herpes throughout the greater Atlanta metroplex” explains one league star.
PRESEASON PREDICTION: SOMETHING TO PROVE ALERT - As a result of his absences last year for personal reasons, the league is not convinced that he spent the off time working on his athletic skills. If, for example, he were the SMFL representative for "The Bachelor"... then we would have no concerns... but if he shows up on Saturday morning with roses, then we might just shun him from the league altogether. His passion and abilities have come under scrutiny and many players throughout the league are left wondering about what he has left in the tank. "Rhino" will have to play with a chip on his shoulder this year to earn the respect of the league.
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