Recap Coming... but it will have to wait.

It's US OPEN WEEK. My attention has been pulled toward watching pro's get their butt kicked on the most impossible golf course yet! Here is my top 3 players to win:

1. Tiger Woods (Last US Open win was at Bethpage... prior to this year's course, that was the toughest US Open set up yet!)
2. Retief Goosen (Always shows up for the US Open, he thrives on even par scoring).
3. "No Name" Joe Shmo (this guy will persevere through the head beating that this course will put the players through... unfortunately, we don't know who that is yet because hardly anyone as heard of him... did you know who Geoff Ogilvy was before last years US Open? Do you know who he is now??).

This was just too good to keep to the Commish alone. Please enjoy Mr. T - Darley Esquire's availability report for Saturday's game.

AP reports out of Addison, Texas indicate that SMFL lineman Tim Darley has been listed as doubtful this week citing reasons of a belated anniversary celebration. Mr. Darley's agent issued the following comment: "Many a SMFL player's career has ended on account of a wide spread epidemic of marriage. So far, Mr. Darley, has resisted that fate but once a year even he has to deal with the side effects. Many people who have not contracted marriage don't realize that if you do not take proper care of the condition it can lead to excruciating pain, even death."

Also, please extend a Happy Birthday wish, although belated, to "Gimme" Moore. His birthday was last Saturday. Although "Gimme" is known more for his trash talking skills than his playing skills, he is a positive representation of the League and we are proud to know him. Happy Birthday "Gimme!" I hope it was a good one.

June 2nd RECAP

Outstanding turnout for the Game! A thank you is in order to all who showed up and invited your friends to play this week. The League could not survive without your help! Please, keep up the invites!

Please note: The League is currently reviewing changes to the game format that will help accommodate the growth that our league is experiencing. During the month of April and May, the average attendance was 8 players. So far the month of June has an average attendance of 15 players (granted that only includes one game), that’s almost a 100% increase! This dramatic and positive change has encouraged a need for the League to evolve and improve the way games/teams are structured. The League is looking forward to this challenge and will begin to implement new ideas immediately.

JERSEY SHOUT OUT:

- Mike Holland looked stunning in his royal blue and white jersey this week, looking comfortable and cocky while sporting the Vanderjagt Colts Jersey. Very daring, very Posh!

- Jarred finally represented his main man, TO Owens, coming out with the hated Eagles green jersey. Too bad J-rad could not back it up on the field, must have been the weight of the Jersey! Or he could have had something else on his mind… due to his new dating relationship; the League has implemented a nickname change. No longer will he be known as J-rad… but instead the athlete formally known as J-rad will be - “Papi.” Would you believe Papi actually chose going on a date rather than playing basketball on Sunday night! This observer was shocked!

- In a bit of a confusing and controversial move, Farrellio came out in the rare Joey Harrington, Lion baby blue jersey. Not even a jersey change could help Farrellio play better this week. He really performed like Harrington… The League is looking to trade him for a higher quality player. Maybe south Florida is looking?

Stars of the Game

- In his debut performance, G-Nason grabs a top spot for the tenacity and energy he exerted throughout the entire game. This man was diving for tackles, jumping for picks, making circus catches, and seemingly picking himself off the ground after every play, even when no one was around. Somehow the legs couldn’t keep up with his momentum. Outstanding energy G-Nas. Looking forward to see you on the field more often.

- “Peg-Leg” Casey Ford seemed to have both wheels working well this week. He threw for two TD’s, picked off 2 passes and invented the most unstoppable offensive formation ever, the “X-Wing 3 QB.” I even feel like a bad a#$ typing the name! Definitely another game changing performance for Peg-Leg.

- Even though he didn’t get much action out of his foot, “Jagt” Holland impacted the game with his huge defensive stops. Two INT’s and one returned for the game winning touchdown. Must be the Jersey.


As sent out previously, this coming week will be the last week before the SMFL off-season. Looking forward to a great turnout on Saturday.

Stay Classy America

June 2, 2007 Recap

The Saturday game recap is coming soon. Please check back at the end of the day.

May 26 - No Game This Week

There will be no game this week. The League encourages all of it's members to relax and enjoy the Memorial Day weekend.

Until next week,

-Stay classey America

May 12th, 2007 Recap!

Words from the Commish - “Please accept my apologies on the tardiness of “THE RECAP”. My professional responsibilities have hindered me from completing my league duties in a timely manner. But enough excuses; on with highlights!”

This week was the first week of the new “expanded” playing field. Under the old league, the field was 26 yards wide by 65 yards long (end zone to end zone). The “expanded” field now plays 25 yards wide and 90 yards long (end zone to end zone).

Commish thoughts on the new field:

“Scoring was getting a little out of control, so the League wanted to bring the defense back into Saturday Mornings. This week’s game was a prime example of how the expanded field can help improve the competitiveness of the League. No more one play bombs for touchdowns; this field requires precision of a well groomed offense that can march down the field, picking apart the defense.”

Most Committed Player Award: (Hunter S.) – Would you believe that the only request this player asked from his wife, for his birthday was to come play in the League on Saturday morning. Even on his wife’s birthday, you will still see this player out on the field! There is no “Randy Moss” attitude here; this guy never takes a play or a week off! However, he does need to get a reputable nickname.

NI player of the week: This award goes to Farrellio, although it is not a good award; the NI stands for (Negative Impact). After helping his team go up 2-0, Farrellio single handedly changes his team’s positive mojo by fumbling a touchdown pass on the 10 yard line, which was promptly picked up by “Peg-Leg” Casey Ford. Farrellio’s team would not score again the rest of the day.

“It was like something out of a blooper real! I mean, Leon Lett had his Don Beebe, and Chris Simms his Roy Williams… Farrellio had only himself! How do you just fumble a ball when you have a free walk to the end zone?! Whatever they are paying him, it’s too much! That was just Unfathomable.” (Unnamed SMFL observer).

DD Award: The Defensive Dominator award goes to “Peg-Leg” Casey Ford. With his one good leg, Casey was able to hall in 3 interceptions and a crucial fumble recovery that changed the momentum of the game. Imagine what he could do with one and a half legs!

May 12th MVP: Mike Holland grabs this award for being apart of the most controversial trade in League history! After helping his team to a 5-2 lead, Holland joins the ranks of such un-tradeable players as Wayne Gretzsky, Brett Favre and Hershel Walker, when he was traded away to the losing team. This trade did not pan out for the team that Holland joined, but they were able to fend off the “L” for a few more drives with Holland’s defensive help. Too bad he couldn’t use his emotions of “frustration from the trade” as fuel to will his new team to victory.

Last Stand Award: This past week is Newberry’s last week to play in the league as a bachelor. Now he will be asking permission to play from his wife, the one whom he has chosen to serve the rest of his life. We hope to see Newberry back on the field in a few weeks. The League has lost some great players due to the holiness of marriage. We take a moment and remember those no longer with us on Saturday’s due to this blessed event:
- “Butterfly” Jett Davis
- “Sweet Swingin” Lee McCollum
- “Automatica” Andy Baker
- “Rocket” Ryan Reist***

*** although the “Rocket” did not officially take the vows of marriage, his traveling habits up to Oklahoma each week have forced the League to qualify his absence as that consistent with serving the woman.

When asked if he would return after the honeymoon, Derek boastfully proclaimed:

“Oh yeah I’ll be back out here, my woman understands the importance of football. I know she will let me play, no question. I wear the pants!”

Please note those that have said the same phrase before, they are listed below:

- “Butterfly” Jett Davis
- “Sweet Swingin” Lee McCollum
- “Automatica” Andy Baker
- “Rocket” Ryan Reist***

Good Luck Derek

Best Catch: The game winning catch was provided by none other than the best pass blocker in the league! That’s odd. Tim D., matched up against A-Train, took a post-fly pattern all the way to the house. It was the longest TD pass in the “new field era” of the League’s history (which was one day). Who said the big man can’t take it deep!

Shortest reception: “Sweet feet” Darrell wins this award when he caught a two yard pass from “Peg-Leg” Casey and ran backward seven yards before he was tackled in the end zone. Some might say, he is eerily similar to Barry Sanders… sure he may lose 5 yards here, 7 yards there trying to make something happen, but you never know when he will break those sweet runs all the way to the house! We may dog you this week Darrell, but we’ll be singing your praises next week.

Goal line defender: “A-Train” wins this award for knowing when to hold his man in the end zone and not get caught for it.

“There is no way my guy is going to score! Are you going to let your’s score? I don’t care what you have to do guys; if you’re not cheating you’re not trying!!!”

(That quote taken from the defensive huddle as A-Train tries to encourage his team during a goal line stand)

Hey, as long as the referee’s don’t see it, it never happened! Nice work this week working the system A-Train, it will probably come back ten-fold next week!

League Innovator Award: J-Rad - Although this award has nothing to do with his stellar play on the field, the idea to lengthen the field to improve the defensive side of the game, far outweighs any productivity on the field. The foresight and vision of this young man will help strength the League for years to come.

“We look forward to more new ideas and vision from this young man. It is players like him that keep the League running strong.” (Commish)


Great play this week gents, see all who can make it next time… and remember

-Stay Classy America