April 21st Game Recap!

Weekly Awards:

April 21st MVP: Ryan Looney - His blitzes and coverage caused three turnovers. Two interceptions were “pick 6’s”, one of which he returned all the way to the end zone after receiving a lateral… and that was just his DEFENSE! On offense he scored three touchdowns and passed for another. It will be difficult to match that performance, especially since there is now film to watch and time to game plan against him for next weeks game! Congrats Ryan, Way to go!

Best Blitz: Avery - there is a reason you are “blitzen” mad after you try and fail to juke him. How is anyone that fast?. If he wins this award again, we will have to rename the award after him… or just call him “Blitz.”

Best Connection: “Favre” Sandwick and J-rad were workin the roommate chemistry to connect on, not one or two long bombs, but three which all went for Touchdowns! They had two other attempted “connections”, which were thwarted by good defense. They would have been touchdowns otherwise! When interviewed at the end of the game, both confirmed that the reason these passes were successful was because neither player were wearing gloves.

“I don’t like to wear gloves” Favre stated,
“I like to feel the ball on my fingers since I’m a very tactile person!” (Whatever that means?!)

The league is currently reviewing the tapes to see if any offensive pass interference or illegal push-offs occurred down field. If that does not reveal anything, a raid of their apartment will be conducted by league officials to determine if the use of illegal performance enhancing drugs were used. For the record, Nyquil and Tylenol PM will be considered as illegal performance enhancing drugs. Raid may be conducted at an undisclosed time during the middle of the week.

Comeback Player of the Week: Matt “Gimme” Moore made four incredible displays of acrobatic receptions! I think he stayed suspended in air and bobbled one pass six times before coming down on the sidelines, but inbounds as he tapped one tip toe inside the white line! It looked like a ballerina. Too bad he doesn’t show up every week to do that.

Play of the Game: D-Newb was responsible for the play of the game, which was the very first play of the day! After running a routine 5-yard out, D-Newb caught a bullet from Farrellio, and turned the corner on J-rad, and he was off to the races. “Favre” Sandwick tried to catch him from behind but fell 15 yards short in the footrace.

“It was like watching a shorter, thicker Avery… he was so fast!” (unnamed member of D-Newbs team). He goes on to state, “Who knew that the California boy could move so fast without a girl to chase???”

Dirtiest Player of the Game: Thankfully, we aren’t talking about language here. Farrellio racked up this award due to the look of his Romo jersey after the game. After missing a pass in the end zone, Farrellio went heels over head after the pass contacted an “undisclosed” location in the lower body area. During the next game, Farrellio returned an interception back to the end zone in which he scored only after he dove and stretched the ball into the corner cone just as J-rad was diving for him.

“Although the dive to the end zone was a good play, it was more of a lunge, or semi-knee slide… like something my girlfriend would do if she were playing softball while getting out of the way of contact… kind of dainty, actually,” An unnamed player of the losing team stated about the touchdown dive.

The result of those two plays was serious, massive, irreversible, grass-ious stainage. By the end of the weekend, it was determined that the stain damage to the jersey were irreversible.


Injury Report:

J-rad: Undisclosed lower body injury, and disfigured nasal damage (unrelated to the Saturday game) 67%
Farrellio: Undisclosed lower body soreness. 93%
D-Newb: Left ankle soreness. 86%
“Favre” Sandwick: 100%
Matt “Gimme” Moore: 100%
R – Looney: 100%
Avery: 100%

Thanks to those who were able to make it out this week and we will see those that can make it next week.

Make it a good week, and remember…

-Stay Classy America