2007-2008 PLAYER PROFILE # 6 - "Rocket"

“Rocket” Ricky

SMFL Alter Ego: Who else? Rocket Ishmael

- This “beltway businessman” has been spending much of his time in the Redskin/Giant territory of the northeast. His SMFL team has been worried about the up coming preseason weigh-in since his 16 hour days at a desk do not help out his 40 time to much. Pending workout results, the “Rocket” name may be back on the free agent market, available to any new player who proves himself worthy. For now, however, the “Rocket” still belongs to Ricky until he proves otherwise. Would you also believe that this man is so popular, that when you Google his name, the studly picture on the top left is the first return.

- PRESEASON PREDICTION: SMFL COMEBACK PLAYER OF THE YEAR. WITH HIS BUSY TRAVEL SCHEDULE, ROCKET MISSED THE FINAL FEW GAMES OF LAST SEASON. THE TEAM IS EXPECTING REJUVENATED ENERGY FROM THIS KATY TEXAS TALENT.

2007-2008 PLAYER PROFILE # 5 - "SWEET FEET"

“Sweet Feet” Darrell

SMFL Alter Ego: Dante Hall

- Arguably the most committed 2006-2007 mid season addition (the only player who drives over 2 hours to play each weekend), has been unheard from for the entire offseason. Perhaps he took the time and made an attempt to walk onto the Baylor Bear football team. Perhaps Baylor realized that he was the quickest, fastest player they have ever seen on their side of the sideline, excluding there drafted punter Sepulveda, and offered him a position… Perhaps all parties involved were happy, until they saw that “Sweet Feet” needed an oxygen mask after every 3 yard cut he made… regardless, that is all hearsay but not beyond the realm of possibility.

- PRESEASON PREDICTION: SMFLBILL BATES AWARD – THIS GUY HAS PROVEN THAT HE LIVES AND BREATH’S SATURDAY MORNING FOOTBALL AND NOTHING HAS CHANGED DURING THE OFFSEASON TO SAY OTHERWISE. WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT STAYING HOME, IN BED, ON SATURDAY’S, THAT MAY BE A GOOD IDEA… AT LEAST “SWEET FEET” CAN’T BREAK YOUR ANKLES WHEN YOUR NOT ON THE FIELD.

Here is a taste of "Sweet Feet" back 15 years ago!

2007-2008 PLAYER PROFILE #4 - Jagt

"Jagt": Mike Holland

SMFL Alter Ego: Mike Vanderjagt

- In an effort to rekindle his devotion to the SMFL, Holland went MIA from the rest of the players in the league to clear his mind. Seriously, he’s not been seen. Word is that in preparation for the start of the season, Holland left his home in the suburbs and moved into town to be closer to the field.

- PRESEASON PREDICTION: SMFL PRIMETIME POACHER! SINCE ENDING LAST SEASON WITH A PICK 6, TALK AROUND THE LEAGUE HAS HYPED UP THIS PRE-MADONA TO NEON DEION STATUS…EVERY TEAM CAN’T WAIT TO SIGN THIS GAME CHANGING TALENT.

2007-2008 Player Profile #3 - Gimme

-Gimme Moore

- SMFL Alter Ego: Jason Sehorn

- Gimme has always been one of the fiercest competitors in the SMFL. In an effort to find a competitive release during the off-season, he has recently picked up golf. “I just had to get out of the house. I was getting bored at continually beating my wife at Chutes and Ladders,” he said at a recent press conference after a pre-season mini camp. (His wife is disputing his version of the results.)
- PRESEASON PREDICTION: SMFL OVERRATED PLAYER ALERT. SINCE GIMME HAS THE BIGGEST MOUTH IN THE LEAGUE, HIS TEAM IS HOPING THAT HE MAY BACK UP HIS SMACK TALK ON THE FIELD A FEW TIMES THIS SEASON.

2007-2008 PLAYER PROFILE #2 - G_NAS

“G_Nas” – G. Nason

Field Alter Ego: The Entire SMU Mustang Team

- After making a late season splash in the final two games of the 2006-2007 SMFL Season and cashing in with a huge off-season free agent deal, it appears G-Nas has secluded himself in the confines of his Uptown apartment.
- “I spend most of my time redecorating; you know, putting up crown molding, painting, new chandeliers, eating papaya and strategically placing my new face molds around the apartment… of the four face molds, I still don’t know which one I will donate to the SMFL Hall of Fame… I will need to have a few more made before I decide.”
- We would like to thank MTV “Cribs – SMFL Edition” for permission to use the above quotes. (Note: The picture above is not of “G_Nas,” as a picture could not be found. Instead, the picture is a dramatization of what “G_Nas” would have looked like in his remodeled condo with a girl on his arm and an overly friendly construction guy.
- PRESEASON PREDICTION: BREAKOUT SEASON ALERT! THIS RELATIVELY UNKNOWN AND UNTAPPED TALENT IS POISED TO BREAK LOOSE THIS SEASON!

2007-2008 PLAYER PROFILE #1 - PAPI

“Papi” – J. Schremmer

Field Alter Ego: TO Ownes

- This is one player who will be happy to get the season started. Off season legal issues and free agency stresses have weighed heavily on one of the most controversial players in the SMFL. The self proclaimed TO Owens and Pacman Jones enthusiast is looking forward to focusing on his play on the field and less on his off the field legal strategies.

- Under heavy scrutiny from the media, Papi often found the safe haven of Sunday Night Basketball, attending weddings with his new love interest and reading. Fans of the SMFL may find it shocking to know that Papi enjoys snuggling up on the couch with a good story book. This reporter found Papi enjoying the writings of a certain 19th Century author, who writes about women of smaller stature ("Little"...if you will). See Papi for more details.

- PRESEASON PREDICTION: POTENTIAL ALL-SMFL PLAYER, PENDING THE EFFECTS OF THE OFF FIELD ISSUES.